"Now we have the World Wide Web (the only thing I know of whose shortened form-www-takes three times longer to say than what it's short for)" --Douglas Adams
"Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends" --Woody Allen
"Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight" --Phyllis Diller
"Having a baby is like getting a tattoo on your face. You really need to be certain it's what you want before you commit" --Elizabeth Gilbert
"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it" --Terry Pratchett
"Retreat, hell! We're only attacking in another direction" --American general Oliver P. Smith