Trouble with Nowadays: A Curmudgeon Strikes Back

Servants: "I have often wondered where all the good, old-fashioned servants have gone. They must be somewhere, they couldn't have all died."

The Government: "The only difference between the Republicans and the Democrats is that the Republicans are socialists and the Democrats are communists."

Women: "The day I put 'Ms.' on a letter of mine, it'll be either to someone else's mistress or the Bureau of Msing Persons."

Children: "Remember, children are, no matter how much we detest them, the you and me of tomorrow."

Foreign Affairs: "Every damn president since I can remember has been so in love with foreign policy that they're just like a schoolboy with a new girl."

Religion: "Nowadays Sunday is just one more excuse to do whatever you damn please."