How Could You Do This to Me?: Learning to Trust After Betrayal

At one time or another, we have all been betrayed by someone we trusted. Wehave all felt the sting of deceit, the shattering of confidence. When thepeople we count on betray our trust, the wound is deep and long-lasting.

But it doesn't have to be this way. "How Could You Do This to Me"? showsyou that you don't have to be the victim of broken trust, betrayal, or lies.Quite simply, trust is an active, not a passive, process. You can take controlof your life by learning how to change your attitudes and expectations ofothers--be they spouse, lover, colleague, family member, or friend. "HowCould You Do This to Me?" tells you how to spot the warning signs thatsomeone you trust may actually be untrustworthy.

You'll learn about the roots of trust, why you may be trusting too blindly, andwhy betrayers betray. You'll meet the people most likely to betray your trust: rivals, who want to be better than you; admirers who want to be just like you; and users who, thinking only of themselves, take away all you've worked for.You will also learn to recognize the personal risk factors that make youvulnerable to broken trust. Finally, you will learn how to deal effectivelywith the fallout of betrayal--how to curb the desire for revenge, when and howto confront those who have let you down, as well as when to forgive, ifpossible, and move on. Most importantly, this book teaches you how to trustyourself again.

Dr. Jane Greer is a nationally renowned marriage and family therapist, inprivate practice for more than twenty years. A former adjunctassistantprofessor at Adelphi University School of Social Work, Dr. Greer is also thecoauthor of "Adult Sibling Rivalry." Dr. Greer lectures across the countryon marital, sexual, and family problems, as well as on women's and siblingissues. She is a frequent guest expert on numerous national TV programs and isoften interviewed by publications such as "USA Today," "The New YorkTimes,"" Ladies' Home Journal," and "Redbook." Her practice is inManhattan.

Margery D. Rosen is a veteran freelance writer and editor who specializes inrelationship, family, and parenting issues. Her articles have won awards fromthe American Medical Association and the American Psychiatric Association. Shelives in New York City.

Betrayal shatters our self-esteem and can make us feel unsafe emotionally, physically, and financially. "How Could You Do This to Me?" will showyou:

* How to recognize the many faces and telltale signs of betrayers.

* What you might be doing to make it easier for others to take advantage ofyou.

* How to decide when a relationship is worth rebuilding, and when it's not.

* And--most importantly--how you can learn to trust yourself again.

With intelligence and compassion, Dr. Jane Greer and Margery Rosen use casehistories and stories to illustrate the different situations in which you canbe betrayed--by opportunistic work colleagues, unfaithful lovers, admirers, friends, or family ." How Could You Do This to Me?" explores the emotionalchronology of betrayal, teaches you how to recognize and defend yourselfagainst people likely to betray you, and helps you to have faith in yourselfagain.