Do You Still Talk to Grandma?: When the Problematic People in Our Lives Are the Ones We Love

"This book is so needed in a time when we are fresh off cancel culture and ready for a new way to process and interact with those with whom we don't agree--whether virtually or in real life."--Joy Cho, author and founder of Oh Joy!

Brit Barron gets it. Those people who hurt us with their bigotry and ignorance . . . they're often the people we love: They're our friends, our parents, our grandparents, and even our religious leaders. And what we want is for them to grow, not to be canceled by an online mob. So what can it look like to strive for justice without causing new harm or giving up on the people we love? Barron shows that the way forward is to create a gracious and risky space for people to learn and evolve. We need to form the sorts of relationships where we can tell difficult truths, set boundaries, forgive, and share stories of our own failings. And this starts with examining ourselves.

In Do You Still Talk to Grandma?, Barron draws readers into this tension between relationship and accountability, sharing painful experiences from her own life, such as her parents' divorce and belonging to a faith community that sided with the forces that dehumanize BIPOC and LGBTQ+ folks. Barron illuminates the challenges and hope for these relationships, showing that the best research points toward humility, self-awareness, an openness to learning, and remembering that others can learn too.

Barron envisions a redemptive way of being that allows progressives to love people who say or believe problematic things without sacrificing themselves, their values, or their beliefs. Provocative, charming, and vulnerable, Do You Still Talk to Grandma? is an essential read for anyone struggling to live compassionately without giving up on conviction.