Too Old for Myspace, Too Young for Medicare

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, 330 people officially reach middle age with each passing hour.

More Too Old for MySpace, Too Young for Medicare

With generational icons like Jon Stewart, Molly Ringwald, and miscellaneous members of the Brat Pack now advancing into their 40s, suddenly middle age seems more synonymous with Generation X than the baby boomers of yesteryear.

For those celebrating their official entry into middle age, or those just on the upper-thirty-something cusp, Joey Green offers dozens of defining characteristics that indicate you're likely too old for MySpace, but too young for Medicare:

* You have a remote control that controls your remotes.

* You went through childhood without an infant seat, airbag, or seatbelt-and lived to tell about it.

* You remember when Coca-Cola was available in only one flavor.