My Suicide Race

At the tender age of six, Mark Turnipseed received what he felt was a clear and devastating message: it isn't okay to like other boys, and if you do, you're bound for hell. His confusion and self-hatred made him determined to become the boy he believed he was supposed to be, but in attempting to live a lie, he descended into a hell of his own making.

In this unflinchingly honest debut memoir, Mark takes us on a harrowing journey as he bounces off the restrictive walls of his closet and plunges into the darkness of drug and alcohol addiction, prostitution, and suicide attempts. He bravely lets us inside the raw, tragic mind of an addict and sexual trauma survivor whose self-denial threatens to destroy him and everyone who loves him.

After surviving numerous relapses, Mark finally finds a surprising key to saving his own life. While training for a triathlon, he embraces a fresh commitment to sober strategies that lead to good health, self-acceptance, and authenticity-offering hope for all who struggle with the shame and self-hatred that fuel addictions.

While showing that recovery is possible even for those who struggle for years to reach sobriety, My Suicide Race also unveils the often-unseen links between addiction, suicidal ideation, and the trauma of coming out.

Fitness coach and LGBTQ addiction recovery advocate Mark A. Turnipseed is the author of My Suicide Race: Winning Over the Trauma of Addiction, Recovery, and Coming Out. Focused on good health, self-acceptance, and authenticity, Mark shares how you can tap into your best self through the daily practice of compassion and self-acceptance. Sharing his own recovery story to inspire and motivate others, Mark discusses the health-focused tools he has used to overcome addiction, take on a rigorous triathlon, and embrace aspects of himself that caused him shame from age six until adulthood. As a keynote speaker and workshop leader, Mark speaks to recovery groups and gay communities about Fitness as a Recovery Tool, Checking In on Sober Health, and When Good Health and Wellness Means Coming Out. In his work with Integrity Endurance, Mark helps those recovering from addiction navigate their personal endurance and fitness journeys by connecting them with fitness and wellness resources for holistic and balanced health.

"Mark Turnipseed's My Suicide Race is a harrowing roller-coaster ride of a read, full of unexpected twists, turns, and bone-chilling drops. Charting one man's emotional journey from childhood to rock-bottom addict, you'll cheer as Turnipseed finally faces his demons by reaching deep into his soul, finding redemption in his children and by embracing his true self."

-Kergan Edwards-Stout, author of the award-winning books, Never Turn Your Back on the Tide and Songs for the New Depression."

"For so many who are caught in the crosshairs of faith and sexual orientation, "religion" can be deadly. Incredibly personal, poignant, deeply tragic and yet ultimately triumphant, Mark Turnipseed's extraordinary memoir MY SUICIDE RACE should be mandatory reading for anyone who has struggled with addiction, internalized homophobia, or any other mental health challenges which caused them to question who God made them to be."

-Daniel Karslake, Critically acclaimed producer/director of "For the Bible Tells Me So"

"Look up "hero's journey," and see the face of this young man who conquered addiction through triathlon training to name himself proudly as gay. It's painfully and joyfully told in this remarkably honest book."

-Brian McNaught Author On Being Gay, Now That I'm Out, What Do I Do? and LGBTQ Rights Activist