Arguers

The first argument was over a brush and a comb, and which would be better for taking a tangle out of the king's beard. Next came the argument over letters, and then over spoons . . . and soon they argued all the time, and no one could remember when the arguing had started or over what or by whom. They only knew that they had always argued, and that they did it well. Very, very well.

And so it was that the king and queen decided to hold a contest to choose the very best arguer in the land. But what will happen when everyone is so busy arguing that they can't even hear the queen announce the start of the contest?