Book of Michael: A BLASPHEMOUS REVELATION OF TRUTH, WHISKEY, and WTF!!!

If this offends you?

Good.
It should.
Because sacred cows make the best barbecue.

This book is for the ones who asked questions in church and got silence. For the ones who cracked a joke about Noah's Ark and got excommunicated over punch and cookies. For the ones who read about she-bears mauling kids and thought, "Wait... what the actual hell?"

If you can't laugh at it?
Who gives a shit.

There's truth in laughter. There's clarity in sarcasm.
And if your god can't handle a joke, maybe you should go hang with your original pagan deity-the one your ancestors ditched for a desert war god who throws tantrums when people eat shellfish.

This isn't blasphemy.
This is literary CPR for a book buried under centuries of fake smiles and bad translations.

Now turn the page.
Or don't.

Either way, the truth still stands-and it's probably flipping a table.