No One Told Me: The Hilariously Honest Survival Guide to Parenting

No One Told Me: The Hilariously Honest Survival Guide to Parenting
by Kitty Weiss

You were told to expect sleepless nights and diaper duty. But no one told you... The TV remote would become your child's favorite toy, or that you'd seriously consider bribing a toddler with Goldfish to stop licking the dog.

This isn't a how-to manual. This is the "laugh-so-you-don't-cry", snack-stained, emotionally exhausted parenting survival guide you didn't know you needed - until you were hiding in the bathroom crying into a cold cup of coffee.

From phantom baby cries to poop blowouts, mom guilt to snack-based diplomacy, No One Told Me tackles the chaos of parenting with unfiltered humor and heartfelt truth.

If you've ever:

• Googled "can a child survive on Goldfish alone"
• Hidden in the bathroom just to breathe
• Called a friend just to say "I'm fine" while slowly unraveling

Then this book is for you.

Inside, you'll find:

• Real talk about newborn sleep (or lack thereof)
• The secret language of toddler negotiations
• Why your pediatrician is basically your therapist
• A reminder you're not alone - even when you're Googling poop colors at midnight