"If I had hands I'd grab this book. Or eyes to read it. Or a brain to understand it. Help."
-Skully
"So what's this? Some kind of scam? Give me a cut and I'm in, let's scam some stupid mortals."
-Mary Anne Holt
"How the hell am I on the back of a book. Am I paper? Am I a cover?"
-Henrik Borgson
"Let's hope your ugly mug isn't on it too otherwise we'll never go anywhere."
-Clarissa Heart
"Huh. Somehow I know this is Rulnar's fault."
-Steven Stirling Sr.
"Sssss! Ssss? Ss."
-Steven "Stevie" Stirling Jr.
"Who's a cute little monster? Yes you are! Yes you are!"
-Corvide
"WHO PUT ME IN THE PULPED REMAINS OF MY ENEMIES? IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT! I WILL IMPALE YOU BLOODSUCKER!"
-Dahlia Birch
"*Screams incoherently*"
-Rulnar Leifson
Issac looks at the reader. "Yeah, this is a pretty good summary. You should definitely buy and read this book."
-Issac Parks