Avoiding People is My Cardio: And Other Introvert Stories

Avoiding People is My Cardio:
Do you break into a sweat when the doorbell rings?
Do you consider "ghosting" an essential survival skill?
Have you ever faked a phone call just to avoid making... a real phone call?
Congratulations! You may be entitled to financial compensation-and by that, we mean this book.
A laugh-out-loud survival guide for anyone who's ever needed a nap after a group text.
Avoiding People is My Cardio is a wickedly funny collection of essays, rants, and introverted observations for anyone who has ever wanted to run a solo marathon in the opposite direction of "mingling." From office kitchen small talk to the horror of birthday parties with strangers, this book explores the everyday adventures of people who find peace in silence and strength in solitude.
Inside these pages, you'll discover:

• The Introvert Olympics-including gold medals in Dodging Calls, Ghosting Gracefully, and Pretending to Be Asleep.
• How to master the "Irish Goodbye" without ever leaving your couch.
• Why noise-cancelling headphones should be covered by health insurance.
• The science of Small Talk Survival, including strategic beverage refills, escape routes, and fake emergencies.
• And the ultimate introvert fantasy: a fully stocked cabin in the woods with Wi-Fi, snacks, and zero chance of a neighborly drop-in.

Whether you're a lifelong introvert, a social burnout, or just someone who finds talking to people exhausting, you'll find your tribe here-quietly, of course, from a respectful distance.
Why do people think introverts are shy or sad? In reality, we're thriving. Alone. In hoodies. With snacks. This book isn't a complaint-it's a celebration. A humorous, heartfelt ode to the sacred art of not showing up, not answering, and not feeling bad about it.
You'll laugh (quietly). You'll nod in recognition. You might even cancel a social plan to stay in and read it-which, let's be honest, was going to happen anyway.
Avoiding People is My Cardio is for the introverts, the socially selective, the over-thinkers, and anyone who has a PhD in "overanalyzing what that text meant." It's brutally honest, comfortingly relatable, and unapologetically funny.
If you've ever said "Ugh, people" before 9am-or if your idea of a good time is not being invited-this book belongs on your nightstand, coffee table, or under the couch where no one will see it and ask questions.
Available in paperback, ebook, and however many excuses it takes to stay in and read.
Warning: Reading this book may cause side effects such as excessive nodding, smirking in public, and reevaluating your entire relationship with the phrase, "We should catch up sometime."