Best Foods To Eat Naked: Saucy Bites, Slippery Snacks, Warm Meals, and Aphrodisiac Delights!

Let's just get this out of the way-yes, I eat naked. Frequently. Enthusiastically. Sometimes with a fork, sometimes with my hands, and once with a spatula because everything else was in the dishwasher and I refused to put pants on just to rinse a spoon. I'm Kristin, I'm 38, I have absolutely no shame left, and frankly, I think that's what makes me qualified to write this book. Welcome to my juicy little world of naked dining.

Now, if you've never tried eating in the nude, let me tell you-you are depriving your taste buds and your butt cheeks of a full sensory experience. There is just something about the breeze hitting your thighs while you bite into a warm grilled cheese that makes life feel dangerously good. And yes, there are risks. Melty cheese strings, hot soup splashes, and the horror of sitting on a grape. But it's worth it. Like skinny dipping with snacks.

I didn't always live this way. I used to be one of those people who put on pants to answer the door. But then one day, I found myself holding a slice of pizza in one hand, a wine glass in the other, and nothing on but a pair of socks that said "Feed Me Tacos and Tell Me I'm Pretty." It hit me: this is the life. This is the level of freedom our ancestors dreamed of while they hunted mammoths and wore loincloths. We've come full circle.

People always ask, "Kristin, do you really cook naked too?" And the answer is yes-though with a strict no-bacon-on-the-stovetop rule. Learned that the hard way. But I'll get to that in Chapter 6, right after the stew story that still haunts my left boob.

This book isn't about fancy nutrition science or whatever Gwyneth Paltrow is fermenting this month. This is about food that tastes better when you're bare. It's about what to eat when you're feeling sexy, lazy, wild, or mildly buzzed and too hot to wear clothes. It's about not giving a damn and loving every minute of it. And it's about learning how to balance a bowl of ramen while lying topless on the floor because your air conditioner broke and you're pretty sure your landlord is avoiding your calls.

Now, I do have friends-questionable ones. You'll meet Tanya, who's always naked and always loud. Susan, who once farted during a group meditation. Janessa, our little baby nudist trying to make avocado toast sexy. And then there's Georgina, who became a nudist for love and stuck around for the no-pants policy. They pop in here and there, usually uninvited, usually with snacks, and usually causing a scene.

But mostly, this is about you and your body and your food and how to enjoy all three with absolutely nothing getting in the way. So kick off your socks, close your curtains (or don't, I'm not judging), and let's dive tongue-first into the delicious, messy, liberating world of eating naked.

Forks up, pants down. Let's get started.