Kluckee: The Plant Based Chicken

Not all chickens are born equal. Some are grown. In dirt. Alone.

Welcome to the farm, where cows graze peacefully, pigs wallow with purpose, and chickens flap joyfully in the sun. And then there's Kluckee-the sad, shivering, plant-based chicken who can't walk, can't play, and definitely can't emotionally recover from what science has done to him.

Kluckee the Plant-Based Chicken is a satirical picture book for adults dressed in the innocent disguise of a children's farmyard story. It's equal parts funny, bleak, and uncomfortably relatable, following the story of a genetically modified poultry substitute who just wants to die with dignity-or at least not get peed on by farm dogs.

• Kluckee is made of plants but full of pain
• He's mocked by kids, tormented by weasels, and ignored by every sentient animal on the farm
• He can't run, can't fly, and when the other chickens play tag-he's always "it"
• His only friends are ants. And not the friendly kind.

This book is perfect for adults who:

• Have a soft spot for dark humor and a harder spot for satire
• Enjoy giving weird gag gifts that lead to deep conversations or therapy
• Think vegan culture could use a little absurdist roasting
• Still feel emotionally scarred by Charlotte's Web and want revenge

Kluckee doesn't just explore life as a GMO. He makes you question what it means to be alive, to be different, and to suffer quietly while stuck in the dirt next to ants and dog pee. So yeah, it's a comedy.

Whether you're shopping for a birthday, a white elephant exchange, or a friend with suspiciously militant tofu opinions, this book delivers laughter, discomfort, and possibly a small existential crisis-all in under 40 pages.

Grab a copy of Kluckee the Plant-Based Chicken today and meet the only chicken who dreams not of freedom-but of sweet, sweet nonexistence.

Because not all chickens are born to cluck. Some are cursed to think.