Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck

Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck is a heartfelt, humorous, and deeply nostalgic collection of true stories from the rural heartland-where front porch wisdom, gravel road lessons, and the stubborn sting of farm life meet grace, grit, and good humor.

Raised in Hopkins, Missouri, longtime farm broadcaster Tom Brand brings together five decades of personal memories that echo with universal truths. Whether it's hauling feed, scooping snow, backing up a trailer under pressure, or dancing in the kitchen with his mother on Thanksgiving morning, each story is told with warmth, clarity, and the kind of quiet reverence that only hindsight can offer.

With sections like Fenceposts and Fieldwork, Faith, Family, and Front Yards, and Voices That Echo, the book captures both the hilarity and holiness of everyday life. These reflections, once shared in small-town newspaper columns, now live together in one volume that honors the past while offering something timeless for the present.

Perfect for readers who appreciate family, faith, storytelling, and the kind of humor that only shows up when a flashlight fails-Welts on Your Butt a Calf Could Suck is more than a memoir. It's a tribute to the people and places that shape us-and the stories we carry forward.